for 2018

I realise that I have never truly exploited the convenience of blogs and such; I have never kept a diary before either. But today, as I was watching the Women’s Figure Skating Free Program at Sochi while talking to Cheronne on FB chat at the same time, I realised that I really should. I was telling her about how everyone on ONTD was saying that the South Koreans were going to exact their revenge on Russia in 2014 (many complained that Kim Yuna was denied gold and that the judges over-scored the Russian competitors; many suggested that Putin was holding a gun to the judges’ heads and that the Nightmare Bear cursed Kim Yuna) and that Russia wasn’t going to win any golds. I then said I couldn’t wait for the 2018 Winter Olympics, and that we had to do this (the viewing party) again in 4 years time.

The days are rolling on and I have let them float past me. There’s nothing wrong with this, but I want to have something to look back on, snippets that can jog my memory. I will always remember running to the Fish Tank to watch swimming in 2008 and that smell of stale food; I will remember watching the London 2012 Olympics in the Museum Library and all the excitement around our favourite German sandwich - I want to remember this too.

I hope that in four years time, I will be watching them figure skating in Korea, with people that I have known and will continue to know. I will be inspecting their costumes, commenting on their coloured tights, looking on in awe, and I will be doing it with people that care about what is happening, and that care about me. 

"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stunned by this for many years. And then i realized, you just say, “Hi.” They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word."

Augusten Burroughs

at the bottom

we never are what we intend
or invent
because i make little lies then i pull them apart